I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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