its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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