Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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