I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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