Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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