Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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