So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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