so that wasnt chicken after all
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize