this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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