Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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