You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I got inside last night via doggy door
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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