so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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