am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
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i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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