The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize