Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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