I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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