I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize