He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize