I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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