You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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