Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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