How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
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How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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