he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize