there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize