You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize