Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize