It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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