I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize