I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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