I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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