I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
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You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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