Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize