Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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