wrigley field is MILF paradise
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize