Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize