I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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