it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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