i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
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You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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