I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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