He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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