my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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