they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
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If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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