Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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