I looked at my own cervix.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Terrible idea I love it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize