I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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