found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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