we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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