So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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