I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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