put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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